Go ahead and talk about Fight Club

I'll just come right out and say it: Voula's Offshore Cafe (North Lake Union; breakfast, lunch).

I used to give people the stank eye for talking about Voula's. Talking about it meant Others could find out about Voula's, and we couldn't allow that. If one outsider found out, they'd tell someone, who would tell someone else, and pretty soon I wouldn't be able to get a table on Saturday morning.

As far as secret wars go, it was a losing battle. Voula's is right out in plain view, next door to the Northlake Tavern, itself a popular pizza joint. But the major giveaway is that Voula, the person, has her name printed on the blue awning, where anyone can see it.

Then last year Television discovered Voula's, featuring it on the Food Network's (grrrr) “Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives.” The war is over.

So what makes Voula's Seattle's best non-kept secret? It's the omelets, man. The silkiest eggs, the right selection of fillings, and the smoothest cheese in the Denver. Go back every weekend and try the Greek with feta and gyros sausage, or the Chili & Cheese.

A seat at the counter offers a good view of the grill. Pour the eggs, pile on the toppings, then a few minutes later -- flip-flip-flip-flip, and there you have it. A variation called the Hobo piles all the ingredients together with the hashbrowns.

And they are generously sized, but not obscenely so. You can put away an omelet and hashbrowns, and still complete your 50 mile bike ride.

Voula's is also the only place in town I know of that has egg bread toast.

Here's the segment from Food Network. Mourn the loss of the secret, but be happy Voula and her crew are getting well-deserved notoriety.

They had me at Ketel One

On this year's first really warm day, we made our way to the Back Door Kitchen (Friday Harbor).

The Back Door is tucked behind a landscaping business on San Juan Island. Look off the back corner of the gravel parking lot on A Street for the boulder with Enter chiseled into it; this is the gate to food paradise.

Choose between sitting in the intimate dining room, cozy bar or outdoor piazza. The sandstone and granite area doubles, I suspect, as the daytime showroom for the landscapers, so it looks like something out of Sunset.

Food & Wine writers, feel free to crib: Back Door's menu is heavy on organic and local ingredients --

• Westcott Bay oysters with bread crumbs and Parm
• Caesar salad
• Chipotle Mushroom Soup
• Herb-crusted Mediterranean lamb sirloin, with mashed potatoes and fresh veg.
• Scallops tasting fresh like the ocean, not fishy
• An excellent house red
  

Best of all, the cocktail list is anchored by a terrific vodka concoction that uses Ketel One, muddled mint leaves, lime juice, and Reed's Ginger Brew.

Back Door Kitchen is another one of those places that are managing to put quality, organic dishes on the table, at prices that are not bad at all -- entrees are $27-28, appetizers $7-11.

The next day I took Clipper Vacation's Victoria Clipper III catamaran ferry back to Seattle. The good news: only 3 hours to downtown. The bad news: it was like taking the bus. Specifically, the Metro Route 358. If the 358 had filthy carpets, smaller seats, germy handprints everywhere, and children running constantly up and down the aisle.

Heresy

I would never say the burgers at Red Mill (Phinney Ridge, Interbay) are bad. They're just standard.

One doesn't have to do much evaluation since, as a concept, the burger has few components:

The bun. Red Mill's are of the standard Franz/Langendorf variety. Has Red Mill never heard of the Essential Baking Company? Or Kaiser? Sprechen Sie Deutsche?

The lettuce. No iceberg for Red Mill. But the leaf lettuce that adorns its buns is usually wilty.

The tomato. It's a tomato, anyone can get them. Thanks to diesel we can get beefsteaks in all their mealy glory even in dead of winter.

The sauce. OK, the Mill Sauce is pretty good. I use a dash of Liquid Smoke when I make burger sauce at home; I wonnnnnder what the Mill does.

The patty. This is the crucial part, the burger in the hamburger. And Red Mill always overcooks theirs -- as in not a hint of pink. There's that word again; standard.

Even Red Mill's pomme frites, the all-important accompaniment to the above, are from the freezer. And while Red Mill's onion ring option is really excellent, honestly, top-notch, you never get enough of them. And the secret is hushpuppy mix.

All in all, the Red Mill burger is tasty and filling, but just not worth waiting for in a line that often stretches out the door. So I don't.

OK, burger heretic, you're probably saying, where does one get what you consider a good hamburger?

I submit there is not just one place, but an entire class of establishment where such an item can usually be found: the pub. I'll name two.

I give you: Fadó (Pioneer Square), an extremely Irish pub. Their "Bacon Cheeseburger Mór" is cooked to order, and I get mine medium so it arrives juicy and still sorta pink in the middle. The fries are thick-cut. Top it off with a pint of Guinness -- or a "Velveteen," i.e. cider floated on Guinness -- and what could be better?

Finally, I'll steer you in the direction of Dad Watson's (Fremont), part of the McMenamin's chain. I don't mean the cheeseburger on the menu, which is standard. You need to look at the specials, where Dad has featured a series of "Stuffed Burgers" to delight the palate. Stuffed with cheese, tomatoes, onions -- it matters not what. It's all good. Plus, you can get either the giant basket of fresh cut fries or TATER TOTS.

And so, burger lovers, I bid thee go forth and pub.


Update: McMenamin's has closed the Fremont Dad Watson's location, and announced plans to reopen it in the University District).